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Throwback to our vow

Suami-Istri di pasangkan pasti sama orang yang berbeda. Orang kaka adek aja bisa beda banget. Saya lagi inget inget lagi apa yang jadi point dari suami saya. Kenapa saya pilih dia untuk saya jadikan suami saya. Dan nilai apa yang suami saya ambil dari saya sebagai seorang istri.

Dulu saya belum terlalu mengenal pribadi suami saya, tapi seiring sejalannya waktu saya mulai paham dia (meski perlu berdebat/berantem dulu). Saya menghargai dia dan setuju untuk jadi istrinya karena salah satunya adalah sikap lembut nya itu, dan saya pun tau kalau memang dia mencoba untuk selalu lembut sama saya.

Ada hal yang saya keliru saat memulai perkawinan, saya pikir dengan menikah saya bisa 'slow down'. Yang saya maksud disini saya bisa bermanja manja dan tidak lagi 'terlalu berambisi dengan achievement' (kata papa, saya ambisius). Saya kurang lebih setuju dengan pendapat papa saya, karena latar belakang kehidupan kami dan saya memang mau mempersiapkan kehidupan sebaik baik nya. Jadi dari usia dini pun saya sudah terbiasa untuk coba yang terbaik, meski kadang yang saya ambil adalah jalur yang lumayan berat untuk saya.

Dan saya jadikan pernikahan adalah sesuatu point untuk saya istirahat / bermanja-manja alias fully dependent sama suami saya. Yang pada akhirnya menjadikan saya seorang istri penuntut. (yes i admitted that, but not proud about that). We need to reach this and that.. Sampai suatu saat saya sadar, it makes our marriage miserable. Kita tidak dalam suatu posisi yang melebur kan visi kami, dan bersinergi untuk mencapai tujuan pernikahan kami. Hal yang harus saya lakukan adalah menerima suami apa adanya. Dan mulai untuk enjoy pernikahan ini.

-------throwback 3 weeks ago------

Baby J lagi acak acak tv cabinet dan nemu dvd nikahan mama dan papanya. Mama dan Baby J nonton wedding nya mama papa. Mungkin ini cara Tuhan untuk ingetin saya, dimana seharusnya pernihakan itu indah karena di dalam nya kita di dekatkan lagi pada Tuhan. Dimana pernikahan itu seharunya adalah sarana kita mengalami Tuhan lebih lagi. Suami boleh bisa merasakan kasih Tuhan dalam pribadi istrinya, dan sang istri pun boleh merasakan nyata bahwa penyertaan Tuhan itu adalah melalui sang suami. Sungguh kalau memang itu boleh terjadi, memang kita akan merasakan surga dalam dunia ini. Yup.. sounds so amazing rite?

Pada titik ini (997 days of our marriage). God blessed us with 1 years old healthy baby J. And our loves that keep on fire until now. Harusnya itu yang selalu saya syukuri dan tetap terpacu untuk maju kedepan. Instead of maju kedepan karena melihat kebelakang dan takut akan tantangan kehidupan (I think ini yang membuat saya ga bisa enjoy dan selalu stress lately).

My beloved hubby, thanks for your acceptance for any flaw on me. When accepting myself is not an easy task for me, I just realized that you have done a wonderful job so far.

Lets take this moment to cherish our togetherness, loving each other, and grateful. Then promise to our self that we would take care this marriage, just like Jesus take care His church, and our precious daughter shall benefit from our marriage.

Honey, either you will take the 'that' opportunity or not, my blessing is within you. I will always working hard for our family.


With grateful tears this notes I dedicated for our 1000days of marriage. (wiping off tears..)

And about, why need to write? Its just because we haven't get any chance to have a proper date since baby J come. And somehow I not able to communicate what I feels inside directly to you. (to avoid unnecessary debate)


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