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Menampilkan postingan dari 2018

Overcome my life obstacle

Its been 3 week after my heart surgery. I've been quite about this, Only few people know the journey since early this year ( my husband, parents, and my boss /as aproval for my leave absent lol ).

And few days before surgery, I only shared to few people that really closed to me.

Why I've so discreet about this...?

1. To accept the condition, to really know whats going on with my health and life, is on going process until now. Hence the emotional imbalance make me unprepared to answer all question that all people will aim to me.

2. Some people tried to ease my burden with "No need to worry maybe its only your feeling", or "Naaahhh you just need to exercise more" or "Don't stress" or "Just quite your job, and stay at home, You feel better".
I often mixed feeling with all those statement. I don't know if I should feel grateful that friends/family cheering me up to stay positive so all the problem can suddenly gone (its more towards …


Not only I often procrastinate to do work related things or home work stuff. I also tend to procrastinate to splurge or to buy some stuff that I need. My 6 years old vacuum cleaner decided to die, 3 months ago. So for clean the floor, left me with my traditional broom. Hate it.. Really hate it..

I really hate when the dust flying around, when I sweep the floor. Also its so tedious job, time consuming, impractical and not totally clean. Yeah maybe its the way I sweep the floor that far from correct. But still hate hate hate. I really missed the time that my vacuum just suck all the dusk, instead fall over places. 

And the budget is there, but I still think with no conclusion, which vacuum need to buy.

Is it the cordless one..

or the Robot , this awesome tiny little creature..

Whats now


Bit surprise for myself, when I heard people said this to me "Don't be such a perfect person.."

It hit me as, I portray myself as faaaaaaaar beyond perfection. You might need to see inside of me. But I took that as a compliment.

In my early 20 years, I tend to chase a happy life. I don't actually accept other emotion beside sad/ disappointment /anxiety etc. What in my mind is we strive to be happy. Happy is the only goal, and beside that is not a norm.

As a time goes by, that took me to ignore my other part of mine. There been aggressive and ambitious to achieve any thing that I define as accomplishment of happiness. Naaah nor expensive thing, XX amount of salary, buy this and that make me happy... To be precise, I not content with my life. The pray from my mouth was only list of  word, The pray is my form for my gratitude.

Still that not sufficient without we acknowledge the whole aspect. I need to truthfully accept all condition that comes withi…

Reminder to be kind, always

Untuk orang yang dalam medical condition, yang masih dalam pantauan / inspeksi medis dari dokter.
Sekiranya batasi diri kita untuk komentar yang kurang penting (seperti di bawah ini):
1. "Makanya, makan tuh yang sehat"
2. "Olah raga dong, pasti ga pernah olah raga"
3. "Banyakkin doa dan beramal, kebanyakan dosa sih" / "Ini pasti dari dosa keluarganya, makanya gini. Karma nih."
4."Karena kerjaan ya, stress ya. Dah resign aja, rejeki ga kemana" (lah terus bayar bill Rumah Sakit nya gimana ya...). "Istri itu emang ga boleh kerja, nah kan makanya sakit"
5. "Udah, pengobatan alternatif aja. Obat itu kimia, ga bagus untuk badan"
6. "Penyakitan, nular yahhh"
7. "Gua harus gimana, biar ga dapet penyakit kaya gitu?"
8. "Banyak minum aer putih gih"

Tidak di pungkiri, mereka (mungkin) ada niatan baik. Tapi di lihat dari sudut pandang yang sakit.
Its too judgmental.
Tiba tiba semua orang jadi lebih …

Its late, but at least I tried. My small step

Buat gua, baca blog orang itu dah jadi kaya self healing untuk gua.. Dengan banyak baca buah pikiran orang itu bener bener memperkaya gua dari banyak sudut pandang. I'm truly grateful that a lot of amazing people still write, and allow me to read their blog.

Salah satu penulis blog yang saya ikuti, terus encourage semua pembaca untuk mao coba nulis, apa pun itu. Dan untuk terus nulis, untuk mengasah kemampuan kita untuk berkomunikasi, memproses data, tahapan pemaparan informasi dan pemahaman akan informasi.

So, let me try...

Tahun 2017 menurupakan tahun dengan segala gejolak. Mulai dari urus keluarga-kerjaan, semua masalah keluarga, jauh dengan orang tua, komunikasi, kerjaan, deadline. Jugling dengan semua hal tersebut, membuat saya hilang fokus dan energi. Penyelesaian yang tidak efektif berimbas kurang baik akan diri saya.
I tend to lose word to represent me, I don't know how to defend myself. In the end I just quite, tired-overwhelmed of everything and tried to find my inne…