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Woman, you worth the splurge!

Can I describe a woman?

Pregnant, PMS, emotional?? , gossip, make up, baby, mom, caring and so on. Woman in this centuries has been playing multiple role in her live. Bread winner, financial planner, educator, comforter, sometimes also as a father. Women, you are the resource for people around you, yet you forget that you also need to re-charge your inner self too.
This mind came across my mind when I was overwhelm during take care of my first month newborn. As that time I feel, I need to be a perfect daughter in law ( my mil and I was distant but we need to be close as we will live together), best mother (even I don't have any clue, what should I do when my baby cry), caring daughter (haven't meet my parent for a long time, and father was ill) and loving wife (I really missed to be really closed with him). No need to guess, It was impossible to be perfect. Before that moment, I already research, browsing, attending every preparation class, and all possibility that I can done to make a perfect moment with my baby, partner and family. 

As a result every drop of tears that resemble from my disappointment. I feel that I was not letting myself breathing, because of my tight expectation of perfect delivery and happy family. I was so empty and drain.Lonely...


Back to role as a woman, we cannot delete the entity that mold us as a woman. I learn that I just need to accept and reconcile with ambitious me. No one can comfort us, other just a human. They not born to pleas you, even father, mother, or our partner. I need to have a quite moment to reflect and knowing better myself. What can recharge me to make me a better me than yesterday.

Woman, you worth the splurge. You already overcome the bloody labor, give up your pre-pregnancy body for your healthy baby, sacrifice your comfy pillow for milk-call from precious baby, suppress your ego to protect your elder. I'm here not trying to boast what I do, Its not as flawless as I describe. The point is you need to re-charge yourself, so your walk is steady and even you can face the new day with a better of you.

Now I often assure myself, that "Happy mommy is Happy baby". Its OK to leave you precious cuttie pie to nanny or granny to let mommy have extra 1 hour nap, or spend my 2 hour at spa to pamper this sore body. Surprisingly it boast my energy level to handle all task, or facing crying baby.

Now I have a project to list all my wish list. Its time for me to pamper myself :) (No need to worry hubby, I still try to spend it wisely ;) )


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Bit surprise for myself, when I heard people said this to me "Don't be such a perfect person.."

It hit me as, I portray myself as faaaaaaaar beyond perfection. You might need to see inside of me. But I took that as a compliment.

In my early 20 years, I tend to chase a happy life. I don't actually accept other emotion beside sad/ disappointment /anxiety etc. What in my mind is we strive to be happy. Happy is the only goal, and beside that is not a norm.

As a time goes by, that took me to ignore my other part of mine. There been aggressive and ambitious to achieve any thing that I define as accomplishment of happiness. Naaah nor expensive thing, XX amount of salary, buy this and that make me happy... To be precise, I not content with my life. The pray from my mouth was only list of  word, The pray is my form for my gratitude.

Still that not sufficient without we acknowledge the whole aspect. I need to truthfully accept all condition that comes withi…