If normal human average human age can live is 70 years, it means I almost past my half journey of my life. In some phase of life, purpose / goal of life is important. At most of times, I tried to pursue happiness even I still trying to imagine the shape of happiness itself. This years my mindset seems see different side of life. As happiness is no longer a important. What I believe now either happiness or sadness or exciting or grave and anything is temporary. I am trying to cherish it with keep on walking on every season of my life. Some part of my life I able to walk with all people who loved me and in other part of my life I still need to able to support my self by walking step by step even though its hard. In the bright sunny day, do enjoy all the warmth and seized the day. This warmth will no last forever, enjoy while it last. Be nice to all people around us. Let the warmth be contagious. Raining days blessed me with the wise though that come in to my mind, let me to meditate...
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Time flies so fast, last year my heart surgery. And its 6 month already. So last week I need to visit my doctor, for my follow up/ routine check with him. As always, its only me, alone, waiting in my turn. The emotion was tense, but as always I tried to despise that with work stuff/ play with my phone. Until... There was this family, Parents with fine young boy. I assume he is in his prime time. Young, collage age, healthy, fun. Initially I never put much attention with this family. Maybe they just come along to company his dad to do check up with the doctor. Because most of the time Cardiologist Clinic full of senior people. So when I sat down in the waiting area, people often stared at me (maybe) wondering what happen to me. After they finished appointment with the doctor, and waiting the administration. The father seriously discussed with the boy. Then the mother sat beside him and starting to cry.. cry... and cry... I tried to find any tissue in my bag.. Initially I want...
Its been 3 week after my heart surgery. I've been quite about this, Only few people know the journey since early this year ( my husband, parents, and my boss /as aproval for my leave absent lol ). And few days before surgery, I only shared to few people that really closed to me. Why I've so discreet about this...? 1. To accept the condition, to really know whats going on with my health and life, is on going process until now. Hence the emotional imbalance make me unprepared to answer all question that all people will aim to me. 2. Some people tried to ease my burden with "No need to worry maybe its only your feeling", or "Naaahhh you just need to exercise more" or "Don't stress" or "Just quite your job, and stay at home, You feel better". I often mixed feeling with all those statement. I don't know if I should feel grateful that friends/family cheering me up to stay positive so all the problem can suddenly gone (its more ...
Not only I often procrastinate to do work related things or home work stuff. I also tend to procrastinate to splurge or to buy some stuff that I need. My 6 years old vacuum cleaner decided to die, 3 months ago. So for clean the floor, left me with my traditional broom. Hate it.. Really hate it.. I really hate when the dust flying around, when I sweep the floor. Also its so tedious job, time consuming, impractical and not totally clean. Yeah maybe its the way I sweep the floor that far from correct. But still hate hate hate. I really missed the time that my vacuum just suck all the dusk, instead fall over places. And the budget is there, but I still think with no conclusion, which vacuum need to buy. Is it the cordless one.. or the Robot , this awesome tiny little creature.. This cordless vacuum is multi function, as can vacuum car also. But still the Robot vacuum will clean the house while you scroll down your IG timeline...... Can you guys buy me both ...
Perfection?? Bit surprise for myself, when I heard people said this to me "Don't be such a perfect person.." Dang.. It hit me as, I portray myself as faaaaaaaar beyond perfection. You might need to see inside of me. But I took that as a compliment. In my early 20 years, I tend to chase a happy life. I don't actually accept other emotion beside sad/ disappointment /anxiety etc. What in my mind is we strive to be happy. Happy is the only goal, and beside that is not a norm. As a time goes by, that took me to ignore my other part of mine. There been aggressive and ambitious to achieve any thing that I define as accomplishment of happiness. Naaah nor expensive thing, XX amount of salary, buy this and that make me happy... To be precise, I not content with my life. The pray from my mouth was only list of word, The pray is my form for my gratitude. Still that not sufficient without we acknowledge the whole aspect. I need to truthfully accept all condition that...
Untuk orang yang dalam medical condition , yang masih dalam pantauan / inspeksi medis dari dokter. Sekiranya batasi diri kita untuk komentar yang kurang penting (seperti di bawah ini): 1. "Makanya, makan tuh yang sehat" 2. "Olah raga dong, pasti ga pernah olah raga" 3. "Banyakkin doa dan beramal, kebanyakan dosa sih" / "Ini pasti dari dosa keluarganya, makanya gini. Karma nih." 4."Karena kerjaan ya, stress ya. Dah resign aja, rejeki ga kemana" (lah terus bayar bill Rumah Sakit nya gimana ya...). "Istri itu emang ga boleh kerja, nah kan makanya sakit" 5. "Udah, pengobatan alternatif aja. Obat itu kimia, ga bagus untuk badan" 6. "Penyakitan, nular yahhh" 7. "Gua harus gimana, biar ga dapet penyakit kaya gitu?" 8. "Banyak minum aer putih gih" Tidak di pungkiri, mereka (mungkin) ada niatan baik. Tapi di lihat dari sudut pandang yang sakit. Its too judgmental . Tiba tiba semua or...
Buat gua, baca blog orang itu dah jadi kaya self healing untuk gua.. Dengan banyak baca buah pikiran orang itu bener bener memperkaya gua dari banyak sudut pandang. I'm truly grateful that a lot of amazing people still write, and allow me to read their blog. Salah satu penulis blog yang saya ikuti, terus encourage semua pembaca untuk mao coba nulis, apa pun itu. Dan untuk terus nulis, untuk mengasah kemampuan kita untuk berkomunikasi, memproses data, tahapan pemaparan informasi dan pemahaman akan informasi. So, let me try... Tahun 2017 menurupakan tahun dengan segala gejolak. Mulai dari urus keluarga-kerjaan, semua masalah keluarga, jauh dengan orang tua, komunikasi, kerjaan, deadline. Jugling dengan semua hal tersebut, membuat saya hilang fokus dan energi. Penyelesaian yang tidak efektif berimbas kurang baik akan diri saya. I tend to lose word to represent me, I don't know how to defend myself. In the end I just quite, tired-overwhelmed of everything and tried to find m...
Belakangan ini berasa suntuk mumet. Somehow sempet mempertanyakan, apakah dunia ini masih ada orang baik, dimana kah rasa simpatik/toleransi/kasih antar sesama manusia... Kok belakangan hidup yang gua liat berasa Game of Throne banget.. .. pulang rumah udah capek Anak udah 3 hari ga sekolah, karena demam. Giliran Bapak nya yang jaga karena dia bisa jagain. (buka pintu gembok).. Karena aga berisik, Suami tau dan buka pintu menyambut gua pulang. Sedikit emo (read: lagi emo banget) masuk rumah sambil nanges... cup cup cup.. akhir nya grup hug sama gerombolan teletubies (papa nya sama si anak). Beres mandi, makan.. liat liat si Suami lagi asik maen HP + pake earphone. Penasaran streaming apaan sih. Oalaa.. ternyata streaming lagu nya FROZEN dong ya... sambil nyanyi nyanyi.. katanya dia suka lagunya.. Dih.. om om baru cukur brewok sambil nyanyi nyanyi "Love is an open dooooooorrrr, with you with you"... geli banget dah..(Suami dah ke brainwash ama si anak selama 3 hari n...
Lapor lapor ... update-an dari to do... - marah marah ??.. ga sabaran ?? masih teuteup.. belum ada pengurangan yang cukup signifikan.. (haiz..) - untuk buang/share/dermakan ... - ini lumayan lah.. dah berhasil bongkar 1/5 nya rumah.. alias.. baju baju gua.. si bapake.. si anake.. berhasil membuahkan 6 kantong gede untuk di dermakan... lemari lebih rapih, dan ga overloaded. terus buang majalah bekas 1 dus.. ogut deh berenti beli majalah sejak 4 taun yang lalu.. kenapa berenti..? somehow liat pinterest/ig/youtube/etc dah more than enough looh.. akankah majalah cuma jadi sejarah kedepannya (say hellow to cassette dan diskette) Dapur belum di bongkar nii.. masih banyak yang hrs di bersihin, lap lap dan lain lain.. (tenggak red bull, semoga kuaatttt ) . . . . Rencana pengen beli ayam kampung fresh yang bener bener idup dan di potong langsung gitu (kaya waktu di pasar Indo). Ngobrol ngobrol sama Grab driver kemaren sih harus bangun pagi (5/6am) trus ke pasar Pudu/ pasar Klang Lam...
Belakangan ini lagi seneng (ketagihan) sama yang namanya pinterest... Di categori family, education dll. Soalnya biasalah.. untuk mengisi kekurangan hidup hahaha.. berasa harus banyak banget belajar soal family, terutama untuk si minion kecil. Beberapa postingan tentang Mom to do list, Mom must do, List of affirmative word for mom dll. Instead of following template from pinterest.. I'm planning to do my own list. Gremet gremet mikir.. apa aja ya.. OK for this week: - lebih sabar... kalo mo marah.. itung sampe 10. ato kita delegate aja ke bapake.. (MUAHAHHA) - when handle tantrum minion, need to prepare my own heart. Kalo masih ada gejala marah, mending diemin dulu dah.. biar ga kepancing u tantrum jugaaa - need to be more creative in reasoning. No its not default answered (I'll try) . - enroll minion on piano/ballet class.. - start spring cleaning (jual, kasih, ato buang) semua yang ga perlu.... Its been delayed since Nabi Nuh masih abg. smangats!!
Nowdays,... . . . GARY (FEAT. GAEKO) – LONELY NIGHT (또 하루) English translation On this lonely night, all alone On this night that made everything feel heavier I love you I need you You, I need you On this drunken night, all alone On this night that made me miss everything I love you I need you You, I need you The 80% of morning finds me once again I don’t feel refreshed but another day is starting It’s just a copy of yesterday I hum along to the newest songs playing from my earphones Dreaming about being the best in this city With my whole body, I feel it all, even the bad energy I’m a Korean, trained by all the pressure I got since I was young There’s so much more unhappiness if you don’t have money Those on top push you down Those on the bottom fight their way up Wherever you go If they tell you to do it, then do it If you don’t wanna, then don’t Is this all about being social? I don’t know, I don’t do things I don’t like There’s n...
Lagi bengong di LRT terus kepikiran kalo semisal punya kekuatan super, kayannya awesome banget. Nah gw tuh kepikir kalo gw pengen punya kekuatan super untuk: (1) Mindahin rasa mules ( big business/small business ) ke orang laen. Big business/small business ini dah tau kan apaan.. kaga usah di jelasin lagi lah ya... Jadinya kenapa bisa kepikiran sampe kesini tu, karena dah beberapa kali gw kejebak macet pas mo pergi kantor ato lagi di lrt desek-desekan, trus mulesssss... benci benci benci.. kalo di LRT masih mending.. ada beberapa statiun lrt yang punya wc lumayan bersih (dah di uji.. saking seringnya dan banyak nya 'bisnis' saya). Apes itu kalo lagi di mobil macet, keringet dingin deh. Bener bener mind games banget antara, masih kuat ga untuk nahan mules atau harus stop di pombensin (Toilet pom bensin horor boook). Nah kayanya seru aja kalo lagi mules mules galau gitu.. dan ga ada toilet yang memungkinkan, gw punya kekuatan untuk mindahin mules ini. Tinggal tatap mat...
Beberapa waktu belakangan ini.. beberapa event yang buat saya harus juggling antara beberapa nilai dalam hidup saya. Maybe untuk beberapa pihak itu sepele atau mungkin ga harus di risaukan. I tend to make some simple thing to be more complicated. Something in my mind keep running around, and I cant make it stop. But its me , saya harus mempunyai pemahaman sendiri sampai akhirnya saya bisa ' to make it work in my own way '. Yang intinya.. saya lagi ngalamin satu masa yang 'ga ena ena banget' saat ini. Dan suatu kesempatan saya dapet pencerahan ini, saat lagi browsing2. "Fix your heart and Your heart will fix your mind and Your mind will fix your tongue and your tongue will fix your life and your life will fix your destiny" Literally this blown my mind, lol Seringkali saya merasa saya banyak di sakiti oleh banyak orang. Tertindas.. I enjoy playing victim. Malah kalo bisa, hidup gw sedih itu pokoknya salah AHOK-JOKOWI deh haha.. ( sounds famil...
--lagi ngelamun ke maybe around +/- 20thn yang lalu ( kerjaan yang baru ga hetic ya??? kebanyakan ngelamunnya ni ) . . . . Sejujurnya gw tuh anaknya ga kuat kuat banget lo.. Kalo emang gw ga nangis pas hari pertama sekolah (waktu TK dulu) itu karena emang gw nahan nangis.. dan masih coba connect dengan keadaan.. 'ini lagi ngapain sih..' or 'kok mama ga ada..' or 'kok ada anak kecil nangis' etc... Mantan gw dulu pernah bilang kaloo pada dasarnya.. gw meng-image kan diri gw sebagai pribadi yang kuat.. but somehow deep down inside itu.. rapuh juga, se rapuh dan melow .. lagu nya rinto harahap.. Bayangkan sekolah dasar (SD) yang berbasis Katholik, dengan beberapa guru itu suster Katholik. Terkenal sama aturannya yang strick-tegas-keras-disiplin endes bre endes bra (dan semua semua nya.. ah pasti pada paham la.. sekolah Katholik pegimana).. Ga pegitu masalah si kalo masalah aturan.. gw pun ga aneh aneh deh waktu SD.. 1 Hal yang jadi struggle terberat gua...
Kalo di liat liat di tv cerita dll kebanyakan mengungkap cerita ya aduhai hebad bin gemerlab.. But let me share about my ordinary life, khas urban merangkap kuli ketik. Full time working mom and overtime (24/7) mom with 1 daughter yang susah makan. Kehidupan tanpa germelap ini di mulai dari jam 6 (kalo HP ga lupa di charge setelah semalaman youtube GRWM, or tutorial ciwi ciwi yang luhar bihasa cantik meski ga di poles sama gincu / bedak bbharumsari), or jam 6.30 kalo emang masih males males buka mata.. But jam 7 udah bener bener harus grasak grusuk mandi dan menyerahkan si baby yg belum mandi-sarapan ke ibu mertua, karena emang hrs berangkat secepetnya. Jem 8 kurang emang dah harus nyetir ke LRT terdekat or.. ada pilihan lain yaitu ngegerutu ke suami... : - Akuuuu masih ngantuuukk.. ituuu anak kamu semaleman minta di garukin punggungnya sampe dia bobo.. Anak kamuuu tuh bikin telatt.. tanggung jawab.. anter akuuu ke LRT. !! (yang disusul dalam 5 menit kemudian ) Aku dah terlambat...
*tetiba saya keingetan kejadian ini... Berhubung saya sekarang kerja di KLCC,, jadi keinget kisah KZL.. jadi dulu 4 tahun yang lalu suami saya pernah ilang di KLCC. Si suami itu punya kebiasaan nitipin dompet / hp ke saya. Karena saya pasti bawa handbag. Ceritanya.. kita lagi kedatengan sama mamih mertua sama ade ipar, kita ajak dong jalan jalan ke KLCC. Si suami awalnya dah nitipin dompet, terus dia permisi mao pipis dulu dan nitipin hp nya juga sekalian sama gw. ehm.. jadi gini ya ciwi ciwi itu kan kalo dah masuk mall konsennya ya sama jejeran toko toko kan.. kita ga ngeh ni.. si suami itu masuk wc yang mana. Blas kita percaya aja dia bakal ketempat point dimana tadi kita pisah. 10 menit di tunggu ini orang kemana.. masa kalo mao nyelesein business no 1 selama itu.. . . . 30 menit berlalu... lah ini orang kemana?? Kita bertiga, muter muter nyari dia. 30 menit nyari.. ga ketemu.. muter.. muter.. OK kita bagi tim. Mamih mertua n dede ipar diem ditempat yang tadi kita m...
Eits.. sebentar.. definisi nafsu menurut wikipedia adalah.. " sebuah perasaan atau kekuatan emosional yang besar dalam diri seorang manusia; berkaitan secara langsung dengan pemikiran atau fantasi seseorang. Hawa nafsu merupakan kekuatan psikologis yang kuat yang menyebabkan suatu hasrat atau keinginan intens terhadap suatu obyek atau situasi demi pemenuhan emosi tersebut. [1] Dapat berupa hawa nafsu untuk pengetahuan, kekuasaan, dan lainnya; " Jadi emang dah seminggu ini saya coba menahan apa pun emosi yang berlebihan dari dalam diri saya. Entah itu nafsu makan (ini yang sering) dan nafsu belanja. 2 hal itu yang jadi PR banget untuk bisa saya kendalikan. Jadi kejadiannya gini.. dah sukes dong 4 hari ini bisa makan yang baik.. sarapan buah peach, makan siang bekel... makan malem ga menggila.. Memang dah rekor banget. Dan di hari ke5 disaat saat bosen banget, gatel pengen jaj...
Commitment to not keep on shopping and trying to finished all my stuff.. so here is it... - Clinique dramatically different moisturizing gel : nice to have, very light. But its not a magic cream. Not doing anything to my face. But yes, quite hidrating. - Hada Labo Air Aqua UV: very light and not oily, easy to absorb. - Maybeline Cleansing Water: good to remove a waterproof makeup, not harsh to skin. - Loreal Hair Oil: in love with this.. in my 3rd bottle made my hair so smooth and silky. No more split end. - Mark and Spencer China Blue Hand Wash: in love with the smell... so relaxed. - Garnier eye roll on: in love also with this product. on my 2nd empties. help to make my panda eyes better. - OXY: not sure about this. Seems not doing anything to my pimples. - Alken Tea Tree oil: not doing anything to my pimples. I've tried also from Body Shop. I think just simply Tea Tree oil is not my thing. - Muji Gel Cleanser: My fav is the smell of fresh citrus and gentle to your ...
- sebaiknya ya.. yang seumuran babyJ itu banyak di kenalin buah. Biar nanti pinter makan buah kaya anak saya. - loh kok bobo nya masih di gendong sih. Nyape nyapein diri sendiri ajah. Nih ya anak saya tuh masukin di stroller aja pake kaki goyang goyang tuh bisa tidur. Maka nya cape tuh jangan di cari cari. - dibiasain dong kalo makan itu duduk manis di kursi dan meja makan. Ajarin sopan santun dong sejak dini. - anak sakit kok ga dibawa ke dokter sih. Itu anak nya batuk, bawa ke dokter dong. - masih nenen? anak seumur itu masih nenen? kenapa ga mulai di sapih sih? - pantes aja anak nya manja, soalnya masih nenen ke ibu nya sih. - di ajak ngobrol dong anak nya. Biar bisa cepet ngomong. Seumuran itu anak saya dah bisa nyanyi. - judes banget sih anak nya, ga mao main sama sodara sodara. (ya ampun.. kan baru juga ketemu. dia belum kenal... *nangis* ) Saya sama anak saya ijin tinggal di gua aja ya. Kayanya lebih damai dan tentram disana. Kadang saya ngerasa overwhelmed sama per...