Langsung ke konten utama

Its late, but at least I tried. My small step

Buat gua, baca blog orang itu dah jadi kaya self healing untuk gua.. Dengan banyak baca buah pikiran orang itu bener bener memperkaya gua dari banyak sudut pandang. I'm truly grateful that a lot of amazing people still write, and allow me to read their blog.

Salah satu penulis blog yang saya ikuti, terus encourage semua pembaca untuk mao coba nulis, apa pun itu. Dan untuk terus nulis, untuk mengasah kemampuan kita untuk berkomunikasi, memproses data, tahapan pemaparan informasi dan pemahaman akan informasi.

So, let me try...

Tahun 2017 menurupakan tahun dengan segala gejolak. Mulai dari urus keluarga-kerjaan, semua masalah keluarga, jauh dengan orang tua, komunikasi, kerjaan, deadline. Jugling dengan semua hal tersebut, membuat saya hilang fokus dan energi. Penyelesaian yang tidak efektif berimbas kurang baik akan diri saya.
I tend to lose word to represent me, I don't know how to defend myself. In the end I just quite, tired-overwhelmed of everything and tried to find my inner peace, self withdraw from any interaction. Because just simply, I feel like I don't belongs there. In the worst time, I cant recognized myself, and detached with my emotion.

That was bad, as not resolving anything, and also inside myself there's no peace or sense of balance. Then at some point, I was breakdown scattered around. I fond myself at ER room, while surrounded by around 8 nurses and 2 doctor. I asked one of the doctor "What happen with me?" after that I fainted. Doctors scream my name, and I tried to open my eyes. That critical phase was over. I still on continuous consultation with my specialist, but as for now its manageable (Lets just praise The Lord, for His continuous blessing in my life).

Image result for emergency room

That's a big shock to me.After that honor episode of mine, the dead and life card is seems so real. I feel that Our BIG GOD, give me another round chance to breath. Big challenges still come and go, in everyday basis. What I can do so far, counting any small step. If that small steps seems too big, just take that time to stay and knowing better about myself. After all you are the one who will take care of your own self.


Take my own time, discover more about myself..
The past is over, the future is real. What ever your situation, just believe your good intention and hard work wont betray you. Hang on, this bad weather won't last forever.




Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Hi strangers... I hope all OK for you

Time flies so fast, last year my heart surgery. And its 6 month already. So last week I need to visit my doctor, for my follow up/ routine check with him. As always, its only me, alone, waiting in my turn. The emotion was tense, but as always I tried to despise that with work stuff/ play with my phone. Until... There was this family, Parents with fine young boy. I assume he is in his prime time. Young, collage age, healthy, fun. Initially I never put much attention with this family. Maybe they just come along to company his dad to do check up with the doctor. Because most of the time Cardiologist Clinic full of senior people. So when I sat down in the waiting area, people often stared at me (maybe) wondering what happen to me. After they finished appointment with the doctor, and waiting the administration. The father seriously discussed with the boy. Then the mother sat beside him and starting to cry.. cry... and cry... I tried to find any tissue in my bag.. Initially I want...

Overcome my life obstacle

Its been 3 week after my heart surgery. I've been quite about this, Only few people know the journey since early this year ( my husband, parents, and my boss /as aproval for my leave absent lol ). And few days before surgery, I only shared to few people that really closed to me. Why I've so discreet about this...? 1. To accept the condition, to really know whats going on with my health and life, is on going process until now. Hence the emotional imbalance make me unprepared to answer all question that all people will aim to me. 2. Some people tried to ease my burden with "No need to worry maybe its only your feeling", or "Naaahhh you just need to exercise more" or "Don't stress" or "Just quite your job, and stay at home, You feel better". I often mixed feeling with all those statement. I don't know if I should feel grateful that friends/family cheering me up to stay positive so all the problem can suddenly gone (its more ...

To do..?

Belakangan ini lagi seneng (ketagihan) sama yang namanya pinterest... Di categori family, education dll. Soalnya biasalah.. untuk mengisi kekurangan hidup hahaha.. berasa harus banyak banget belajar soal family, terutama untuk si minion kecil. Beberapa postingan tentang Mom to do list, Mom must do, List of affirmative word for mom dll. Instead of following template from pinterest.. I'm planning to do my own list. Gremet gremet mikir.. apa aja ya.. OK for this week: - lebih sabar... kalo mo marah.. itung sampe 10. ato kita delegate aja ke bapake.. (MUAHAHHA) - when handle tantrum minion, need to prepare my own heart. Kalo masih ada gejala marah, mending diemin dulu dah.. biar ga kepancing u tantrum jugaaa - need to be more creative in reasoning. No its not default answered (I'll try) . - enroll minion on piano/ballet class.. - start spring cleaning (jual, kasih, ato buang) semua yang ga perlu.... Its been delayed since Nabi Nuh masih abg. smangats!!